A negotiation should satisfy both parties. If one walks away unhappy, they risk deals falling through before their time. To understand what a successful negotiation looks like from both sides, we need to understand what generates satisfaction with people. And it’s not just about the money or product.
The Satisfaction Triangle
John Lowry often says there are three aspects of satisfaction, which he calls the satisfaction triangle, and he breaks it down like this:
- Process: People inherently have a great need for procedural satisfaction. It’s the way they actually handle the deal.
- People: How you treat someone is very important. Participants should respect each other, their opinions given honor, and their dignity preserved. This is critical.
- Product: People want satisfaction with the product—what the final deal looks like and what it means to them.
You might think that because of these being three points on a triangle, they hold equal weight, but the two most important factors are process and people—not product.
The Process
Process is critical because it’s tied into how we reach the deal. Mediator and author Gary Furlong describes this part of the process as “the fairness, inclusiveness, timing, and transparency” of the negotiation. If you’re in the middle of negotiating the purchase of a car, for instance, and the salesperson refers to your spouse, or significant other, for confirmation to what you agreed – it might not sit right with you. If you feel you are being undermined, talked down to, or discriminated against, these are also factors that make up the process and can yield a heavy hand into how we reach the result, if at all.
Process is also important because it drives substance. Process is an opportunity for both parties to be clear about what they’re trying to achieve and find points of mutual benefit. There is no one way a negotiation should go, so to achieve a more beneficial process, many negotiators like to craft agendas and sequence the issues at hand before getting down to brass tacks.
In a study conducted by researchers E. Allan Lind and Tom Tyler, they found “the more parties believe that a process was arrived at fairly and jointly, the more likely they will be to consider it legitimate and to partake in negotiations with the same parties in the future.” That may seem obvious, but it’s not uncommon to get caught up in your own motivation, and unwittingly fail the process and dismiss the participants.
The People
Collaborative work requires respect, attention, and time. Who the negotiating parties are and the psychological needs they bring to the table can bring surprises to a negotiation. We all negotiate differently, so you may find yourself across from someone who puts more faith in statistics than story, more competition than collaboration, or someone who is sensitive to perceived slights.
A study published by Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes found that when “slight-sensitive people are personally invested in the issue being negotiated—for instance, when they’re selling a family heirloom or interviewing for a job—they are susceptible to feeling threatened and, as a result, behave competitively.”
The last thing you want in any negotiation is a partner who is not there to negotiate, and instead, to take all.
The Product
The end product is the result, or substance, of any negotiation. Focusing on the product is where we do a lot of the legwork – the brainstorming of ideas, developing options, trade and bargain, compromise, and exchange value. But, as we mentioned, the product is not the most important part of a negotiation. Why?
David Finkel, an author and investigative journalist, has said, “One of the most powerful things you can do in a negotiation is to draw out why the other party wants to make a deal. You can do this by asking questions and building negotiating roots.” One accomplishes this when you’re focused on the result, building motivation and trust as you move through issues.
Using The Satisfaction Triangle in Any Negotiation
You already know there’s a lot to consider in a negotiation that goes beyond the points actually being negotiated. Keeping the satisfaction triangle in mind, however, can help steer you away from rough edges and back onto a course you can more readily navigate. So, how do we do that?
First, it’s important to remember what we have in common. All of our interests can ultimately be divided into three categories: common, different, or conflicting. For a person seeking a salary increase, for example, the common interest might be to continue a mutually beneficial working relationship where ones salary aligns more accurately with their contributions. If they have different interests – maybe the other party appreciates the work but doesn’t feel it warrants a salary increase – they might negotiate alternative ways for the salary seeker to feel more empowered and fulfilled without making a dent to the bottom line. Conflicting interests are basically different interests “disguised as deal breakers” and means the salary seeker wants a salary increase, or nothing, and will walk away if that aim fails.
Second, figure out how to push on each aspect. You may not have a say in who you’re negotiating with, but an important part of negotiation is diplomacy, the ability to handle affairs without inciting hostility. If you find your sparring partner is coming at the negotiation from a more emotional perspective, you might lean on the people aspect, and acknowledge the doubts, or assumptions they’re making. If your partner is focused on the end goal but not on the path to get there, you might lean on the process angle
Third, work the impasse. An impasse, or stalemate, often happens when each side becomes stuck in their positions and loses sight of their goals. But even in an impasse, you have options, and one of these is to move around the triangle. If your impasse is due to differing objectives, move to process to reconfigure those aims. If you’re sidelined due to a personal or psychological difference, home in on getting to the end result, and so on. It’s very easy for emotion to overtake logic, and sometimes one needs to be reeled back in.
Learn How to Negotiate with the Pros
The Lowry Group, LLC (TLG) is the outgrowth of almost three decades of experience helping organizations achieve their next level of success throughout the United States and around the world, including conflict resolution. TLG’s work began as an external consulting, systems design, and training resource composed of faculty from the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University School of Law.
But TLG has moved beyond its academic roots to respond to repeated requests from corporate and government organizations for “real world” assistance. The TLG team has been chosen by scores of major organizations that must become more effective in negotiating sales, business transactions, client relationships and disputes.
What makes companies and individuals truly successful is the ability to ably manage negotiation. We created resources you need to identify, resolve and manage negotiation. From CEOs, to small business owners, and to anyone managing a team – developing the skills to navigate negotiations is not just important, it’s imperative. Managing negotiations is a cornerstone not only in conflict resolution but also in understanding the psychology of business relationships. Learn how to up your negotiation skills with the Negotiation Navigator Online Course!
